Behind the Veil

It's Thursday Eve! I hope everyone is ready to push through the rest of this week and conquer it!

The idea for this post came to me as I was prepping for dinner last night. It started when I first got home and saw cat puke on my new living room carpet. Then I kept walking through cat litter the stupid cats like to throw all over the floors. It finally became a must-do when I almost caught the oven on fire due to someone cooking something with grease that spilled all over the bottom and didn't clean it up (it was probably me, since I'm the cook).

When you almost catch your house on fire using your oven, modify and work with what you have! Instead of oven baked chicken thighs, I covered the pan and simmered for 20 minutes. Just as good and no fires!

When you almost catch your house on fire using your oven, modify and work with what you have! Instead of oven baked chicken thighs, I covered the pan and simmered for 20 minutes. Just as good and no fires!

I love reading blogs and catching up with people on Facebook, but too often it looks like everyone has their shit together way more than I do. Their kids always appear showered, well-dressed, and not covered in snot, and their homes are decorated nicely and not covered in cat litter. After reviewing what I've posted on social media recently I see that most of my pictures show some pretty well put-together kids and a nice, clean house. 

Well my friends, I think it's time to go behind the veil, pull back the curtains a bit, and let the truth shine through. This will be picture heavy, but bear with me. 

This swimsuit has been hanging here since the end of September. That's almost 6 months.

This swimsuit has been hanging here since the end of September. That's almost 6 months.

Current laundry situation in our hall - those are all clean (they've since been picked up and put in a laundry basket where they'll probably remain until tomorrow or this weekend)

Current laundry situation in our hall - those are all clean (they've since been picked up and put in a laundry basket where they'll probably remain until tomorrow or this weekend)

An example of one our closets; I'd estimate that 50% of them look like this. It's like a junk drawer...but a closet so there's room for so much more crap!

An example of one our closets; I'd estimate that 50% of them look like this. It's like a junk drawer...but a closet so there's room for so much more crap!

What's that all over and IN the toilet you ask? It's freaking cat litter. The asshole cats like to do their business in their litter box and then drink water from our toilet, making an even bigger mess in the process.

What's that all over and IN the toilet you ask? It's freaking cat litter. The asshole cats like to do their business in their litter box and then drink water from our toilet, making an even bigger mess in the process.

It's hard not to be embarrassed whenever a neighbor walks by and sees the state of the garage.

It's hard not to be embarrassed whenever a neighbor walks by and sees the state of the garage.

It feels like I spend every single day from 5am to 9pm constantly mom-ing, cleaning, helping, managing, and running myself ragged. I generally take a 1 hour lunch at work and will spend time catching up on social media, reading the news, and taking ridiculous snapchats of myself, however my social media is filled with posts like the ones I mentioned earlier. Everyone I know is a pinterest professional, has perfect kids, they party way harder than I ever could, eat so much healthier and more than I can imagine while spending half of what I spend at the store, have immaculate houses, super cool jobs, they travel to so many awesome places way more than I could ever envision, AND they don't have any effing wrinkles on their face. How is this possible?

How everyone on social media wants you to think they look after their 5am workout - suck it in, turn to get the right angle, filter the crap out of it. 

How everyone on social media wants you to think they look after their 5am workout - suck it in, turn to get the right angle, filter the crap out of it. 

It's Not. 

How I really look after my 5am workout #nofilter #mascaraface

How I really look after my 5am workout #nofilter #mascaraface

Social media is not real life, and the stuff that people post is usually not their reality. People almost always post only the good stuff, which is understandable. However since all of us are only seeing the good things that everyone else is experiencing, it has set all of us up to constantly compare ourselves to each other and wonder why we're not as good/thin/rich/traveled/well-rested/cat-litter-free as they are.

I now realize that I'm just as guilty of this and most of my pictures and posts are filled with rainbows and unicorn farts. Don't get me wrong, I like for things to be as clean as possible, but this will often result in me being on my feet from the second I get home from work playing, sweeping the floor, talking, cooking, cleaning, bathing the baby, cleaning some more, making dumb snapchats with Justin, before finally collapsing in an exhausted heap on the couch or bed wondering where my time went and how is it already 9:30 and I haven't even watched anything but Moana all day long. And then even with all of that, our house still looks like the pictures above. Guess what? I. Don't. Care. 

Having been a single mother for most of my son's life, I quickly learned that in order to keep both of us sane and to be the best mom I can be, I have to choose my battles. Having an immaculate house is one of those battles I have chosen not to fight and here's why:

  • My kids aren't going to remember that their laundry was always folded or that the closets were organized. They're going to remember that mom would always take the time to play with them, read them a story, crack poop jokes, or cuddle on the couch. 
  • When I die, I don't think my last thought will be "oh, if only the garage was better organized". I want my last thought to be, "girl, you LIVED". 
  • My husband isn't going to love me for my pantry organizing skills (even if they are pretty sick). My husband loves me because I always take the time to think of ways to make him and the kids feel special, whether it's making some ridiculous cake I've found on Pinterest that won't look anything like the picture but will taste good or picking up their favorite candy when I'm at the store. 

So I urge you to stop the comparison game and know that no one's life is perfect. Figure out which battles are really important to you and those who matter the most to you and let the other battles go. If you have to choose between having a clean closet or cuddling your babies I hope you choose to cuddle your babies. The closet/pantry/garage will always be there and it will get done, I promise. It may not happen until you move or die, but it will happen. But for now take time to slow down and appreciate what you do have, don't compare it to what anyone else has, and breathe it in...unless you're standing next to the litter box, in which case that ish probably does need to get cleaned so go ahead and do that. 

Look, a snot-free baby picture! Sure, she's not smiling and has some serious RBF, but 1 out of 2 ain't bad!

Look, a snot-free baby picture! Sure, she's not smiling and has some serious RBF, but 1 out of 2 ain't bad!

So I turn it to you - do you feel trapped in the comparison game sometimes, or are you able to just ignore it all and not worry about it? Also is your house immaculate and if so, teach me your ways. Or is it just a veil like mine? Don't hold back and let me know your secrets!